can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
