We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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