He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
