I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
