sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
