just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
