I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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