I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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