before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize
