My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
