So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
