Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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