let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
