Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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