I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize