just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
