Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
