Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
