you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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