wat bout pragnant strippers??
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
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