I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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