And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
