I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
