the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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