she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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