I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize