so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
