there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
