jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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