For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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