Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
