I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So apparently I’m into choking now
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