**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
