I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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