I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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