Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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