Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
