Say something about gay babies.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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