Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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