Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
