I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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