just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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