my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize