Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
