Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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