So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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