Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
