i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize