guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
