you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
