matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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