She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
