He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
