I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
