Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
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