vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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