I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
