My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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