Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I think i got beer on your cat.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
