Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
