last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
