Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
