Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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