If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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