i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
