I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
