I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My bed smells like the plague
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
