Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
