ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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